Monday, August 16, 2010
Avoidance does Bring Deliverance
So everyone and your mother thinks that they can tell you about how to meet the perfect guy, how to keep him, and even who your perfect guy is. I don't want to do that. If you're reading this blog, chances are I don't know you personally. (If I do, let's pretend I don't, alright? Thanks :D)
Almost exactly two years ago, I was sick and tired of guys. I'd dated a couple, done the whole "are we or aren't we" dance, and found it all too drama-filled for my lifestyle. It's exhausting, right? I decided that boys were no longer a priority, and I'd just focus on being with my friends and having fun.
Giving up on love/lust, depending on what you're looking for, may seem like the antithesis of getting it. In reality, it actually is the way I found it, and believe that anyone can. When you are "trolling" for a significant other, every single potential mate is scrutinized by your eye and their attributes are weighed the instant you get a glimpse. Any potential flaws are deal breakers. To tell you the truth, you may learn to love that crooked smile, or go crazy for the out-of-control waves in his hair.
Less than a week after my male-free declaration, my friend I hadn't seen in forever invited me to the movies to save her from boredom. When I got there, a ton of people I didn't know were there, including this guy who I immediately forgot about. We went out to dinner after, and we were all in different tables, but this guy wouldn't stop staring at me! I whispered to my friend, who I was engaging in a talk-as-fast-as-we-can-to-catch-up-on-everything-we-missed-athon with, that he was scaring me. She said it was no big deal, but then he started to follow us while we talked. I was ignoring him, and just kept chattering away.
After I left, he finagled my number and started texting me. This guy was so odd, but it seemed like he knew everything about me. He knew exactly what made me laugh, and even almost figured out my biggest secret I had told one person in the world. I was so confused about him, because he would say I was beautiful but that he didn't want to date.
Fast-forward to now, and I've been dating him for 23 months today. We've had our roller coasters at times, but to be honest, it's been mostly smooth. He gets me, even if that is as cliché as can be. All my friends love him, and he takes care of me better than I ever could. Had I been looking for someone, he would've never even begun to register on my radar. He was NOT my type at all, so different from the guy I had dated previously. But when I thought about my perfect guy, my boyfriend Matt did meet every single requirement without me ever realizing it.
What I mean to say is that guys (or girls, if the opposite applies) notice when you are checking them out. At the same time, you checking them out may be misconstrued by your facial expression. Have you ever seen a guy look at like you as if you were an alien creature, or a girl who looked completely uncomfortable and awkward? Chances are, you weren't attracted to them or inclined to start up a conversation with them.
So STOP being on the prowl for a new boyfriend or girlfriend; It's way too much work, stress, and is unnecessary. It may even act as a deterrent at times. Love or like will hit you at the most unexpected moments, that's the way Mother Nature planned it. And she's one mother I always listen to.